So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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