so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize