Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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