i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
soo... how was my night?
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