bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize