The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize