69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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