12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
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thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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