i permit you to call me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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