I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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