Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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