Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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