we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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