Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize