he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
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I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
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Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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