I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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