i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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