I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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