recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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