hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
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i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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