Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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