The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize