i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Randomize