Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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