that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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