VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
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I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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