....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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