She said her name was "party"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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