Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've blown a few things in my day
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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