Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize