Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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