: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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