New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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