brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
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