Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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