dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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