the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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