Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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