im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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