this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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