Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize