I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
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Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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