so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize