saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize