thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think my mom watched the whole time
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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