hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize