If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This baby is an asshole
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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