He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize