Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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