What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize